The Who’ a And The Roo’ a

                         The Who’ a and the Roo’a   OR     

The Chi Hua Hua Who Befriended A Roo’a

 

There once was a Roo’a he always liked to chewa on a kind of red beet stew’a.

Up and down up and down the Roo’a had to climb. He would huff and puff so frantically to get to his seat in time.

Roo’a sat in his usual place next to Spido, Bump and Wee. He gave a start when across from him a stranger did he see. Oh my, oh my, oh my, my, my, my, my. Just who’a can this stranger be? The stranger sat all alone you see all alone on this day was he.He thought to himself what shall I say to make a friend of me? So he left behind the place he had been, it was dark  yes dark, dark, dark. 

It was then that he:    Opened his mouth to sing

                                                        His mind to think  and for

                                                              Love, he opened his heart. 

                                                    

The Ballad of the Busy Buzzard – an excerpt

The buzzard was a cry’n as he just kept a try’n  to be a lap escapee. Well granma wouldn’t have it so she took her old Nun Habit and beat upon the man named Tee. The man started cry’n the harder he was try’n but he was cry’n wee, wee, wee. His tears started flowin and they all started goin in the jar with the buzzard on his knee. So now don’t you know it I’m soundin like a poet it’s all bout that very large buzzard you see. If he wasn’t so busy he wouldn’t get so dizzy and be surprizing ole Granma you see.

the french fry

 

Pierre’s fingers and hands were aching, beginning to cramp up now. He had been hanging on to the ledge  for over ten minutes. He had felt so sure that this was what he wanted to do. What he in fact set out to do. The only solution to his problems. Solution, hah ! What a joke. If this was really the way out then  50 % or more of the world’s population would be dead by committing suicide.

By now his hands were really hurting. They were all bloody from several fingernails tearing loose. Pierre peers down from the catherdral, maybe a 100′, maybe 150′, who knows. One thing’s for sure, it’s a long way down from the top of the Notre Dame Cathedral  to the bottom  of that huge vat filled with hot, scalding cooking oil.

Well, this was it. Decision time. He would flip a coin if he had a free hand but, no such luck. You know the heads I win tails you lose type of thing. In other words,  Pierre was going, he was going.  Little by little each finger came off the ledge as though they were being pried loose by a mythical giant of some kind. Off they came. ” This little piggy went to market this little piggy went home”.    Finally Pierre was down to his last finger, the little pink on his right hand  and then – sloop-yeowwww!  SPLASH .  He was gone. There was no doubt. Pierre was a hit !  He splashed around in there, that hot, boiling bubbling cauldron of oil and he fried.

And so it goes that this is how the original French fry was created.Twilight comes but once a day. Other’s it seems are here to stay.

The Pharoh and The Sphincter Muscle

Sphincter

 

sphincter (sfngktr)

A ring-shaped muscle that encircles an opening or passage in the body. The opening and closing of the anus is controlled by contraction and relaxation of a sphincter, as is the opening that leads to the stomach from the esophagus.

Benny Benjamin and The Big, Big Bunny

The Big, Big Bunny was hungry you see, he went to the garden of Mr. Benjaman who was known as Benny. In the garden there was so very much to eat, carrots and lettuces sweet and sapporite.  A friend of Mr. Benjamin the Big, Big Bunny was not,  so that night  Benny Benjamin was guarding his lot. When he saw the Big, Big Bunny and took his first shot. Ole’ Benny not the Bunny took off in flight, running like crazy he went off to fight. But for the Big, Big Bunny to fight was not in mind, so he searched and searched for a place that he might find. The Bunny he sought to get out of this bind,  suddenly on this golf course he found the hole in nine. A hole made for hiding by another bunny of his kind. So it was that Benny Benjamin gave up the search for him, and the Big, Big Bunny promised never more to sin.    

The End – of the Tail    ( Hee – Ho – Ha Ha Ha! )

                   

Running From People

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

People come running some times. It’s not much fun. Trying to hide, slip down beside, the dark part where there is no sun.

 

running away

 It often makes me think, and that’s the problem right there, to think and think and think and… it just never stops. On it goes, to think and think. What a pain in the butt. The thoughts you think. I mean, the thoughts that I think they, they bring me to the brink, the edge of the side turned upside around, I’m going down and down. At the edge, the edge just holding on. Fingers pounding, blood cells sounding like old air raid sirens. No not singing  sirens, air raid sirens. So loud so darn loud now. What am I going to do. Just run! Run, run, run, run, run, run. I can’t run , I can’t run, run, run anymore. Aw man. So I’ll sit down and cry. What!? I said I’ll just sit down and cry – why? You can’t do that man. You’ve got a wife in need, babies to feed, a dog too slow can’t follow where you’ll go. Then where will you be. So can’t you just see. It’s just you and me, the way it’s  meant to be. A crying shame. People watch with distain. They won’t feel the pain cause’ their living the lame existence of some not out on the run but back in the pack with Joeseph and Mack, workin in the factory with the big smokestack. Remembering the war took place a time before, knowing it wasn’t safe but they had no other place yeah it could have been, “Oh Canada”, but they would live in disgrace, so now they have found them living like a clown then the policeman came and they are living in shame. Moved the war from Laos now their in the “Big House”, no friends to be found, got to hold your ground. Far be it from me, to call Aunt Bee at Mayberry Town where my brother had found his fix for the hour then back up to scour, those dirty city streets try to find those dealing creeps, get him some dope then he’d have enough rope, to hang himself………. and that’s just what he did. 

My Hole Turned Inside Out

I put the sock on my head and covered my face. Walked into the bank now a scary place. Handed her a note so no one could see, the only one who knew was she and of course me. Visions of glory a big name I would get. Billie Joe Bob he’s done it again, Busting into banks  that was his thing. The problem it seems he never could bring, the pay off, the money,  for fortune and fame. Yes, that would allude him and cost him the game. Yep, Billie Joe Bob was a loser just the same. So now he sits with that sock on his head, all covered with blood cause the guard shot him dead.

Time Stamp

Gears winding

Sidney

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Catch Me If You Can

 

 

S:   Yoo Hoo ….. anybody home.   Yoo Hoo ….  Honymooners? …

      Yoo Hoo Hoo.

      Could it be nobody’s home?

      Oh … they left a note for me …

 

      "DANNY DARLING.   WILL BE BACK SOON.    BE BACK SOON.

                      BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU."

 

A brother-in-law on a honeymoon?

 

        (Moosehead)

 

Oh, how do you do?  Say, I’m glad I ran into you.

Who caters your conventions?

Maybe you’ll keep in mind Sidney’s Sandwich Shoppe?

 

Give a smell. That, my dear moose, is Sidney’s Special, with Sidney’s secret dressing.

 

Would you believe this is a brunch for two?

 

You’re wondering how does Sidney do it? 

Well, you look like a moose that doesn’t go around blabbing.

It’s low overhead,  high turnover,  smart merchandising, 

and …  a little bookmaking on the side.

 

Excuse me.

 

C:

 

SIDNEY:  Good morning. I’m Sidney.

 

C:

 

SIDNEY:   What are you doing mister,  morning calistenics?

C

S:  Don’t get excited, she’ll be back soon.

C

S:  Delivering.

 

S:  What does it look like I’m delivering,   The Gettysburg Address?

     I’m bringing a brunch,  personally — myself.

 

C

S; Again with the profanity.  That’s not nice.  Especially from a newlywed.

 

C

S;  How do you NOT know that I know?

     O.K. Your wife told me your’e newlyweds.

 

C

S; You had a fight already?   Don’t worry.  She’s not mad at you. …. She left you a note.

    Danny Darling:

 

C;

S; Huh?

 

C:

S:  Listen Mister.  You don’t hafta be so rude.

     World famous celebreties have eaten by me … and not one ever opened a mouth like that to me.

     You should also know that I have three delivery boys …

      and me — the boss — is delivering in person.

    

      Why,  Because your wife is such a sweetheart.

 

C:

S:   What then?  MY wife?

 

C:
S:   Who says I wanted you?

 

C:

S:    Absolutely.    My own secret blend.

 

C:

S:    Are you crazy?  That coffee’s too good to waste on plants.

 

C:

S:    Listen, mister, when L.B.J. ate by me,  he even took sndwiches home for Lady Bird.

       If it’s good enough for a president, it’s good enough for you.

       Come on, have a cup of coffee.

 

C:
S: A pleasure.  Nobody turns down Sidneys coffee.

   Why didn’t you say you don’t like to drink alone? 

    Marvelous! Sidney, compared to you, Juan Valdez is a bum.

 

    What are we playing — musical glasses?    

            

C:
S:   Mashugeh is a better word.

 

C:
S: Your wife asked me for the recipe.

 

C:
S: How could you say such a thing? She’s crazy about you, that women.

   You don’t know how lucky you are. Such a classy lady.

   Your wife is no Miss Clairol from a bottle.

   How often nowadays do you see a REAL redhead?

 

C:
S: I said something wrong?

 

C:
S: You mean she IS Miss Clairol from a bottle?

    I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

 

C:
S: So who’s giving you an arguement!!!

 

C:
S: What else have I been saying?

 

C:
S:  Oh boy!    These newlyweds are some emotional bunch!

 

C:
S: When?

 

C:
S: When she ordered the brunch, of course — about five days ago.

 

C:
S: What a honeymoon he must be having …

 

C:
S: I remembered her from the first night.

    Fifty-seven dollars and twelve cents.

 

C:
S: But did I stay in the store? You forgot already who shlepped the three cartons to the trunk?

    Listen, mister, a beautiful Red Head in the front seat, I notice! I’m not dead yet.

 

C:
S: You, too.

 

Well, you got a call to make … I got a living to make … so I’ll go.

 

C:
S: You know Levine? He eats lunch by me every day. 

 

C:
S: Your’e inviting Levine too?  Wonderful.

    His wife is away. He’s probably lonely.

    Okay, I’ll stay.

 

C:
S: Who’s back?

 

C:
S: What priest?  What’s going on?  Is there another women?

 

C:
S: So soon after the wedding another women? 

    A honeymoon nowadays can’t last over Labor Day.  Who’s this — your mistress?

 

C:
S:  So what is she doing here? She don’t know on a honeymoon three’s a crowd?

 

C:
S: So who’s gonna tell her now — your wife?

 

C:
S: Levine’s wife is in Rockaway — your wife is in Rockaway — What’s in Rockaway –         ?

 

C:
S: I’m a clam.

E.

C:

E.
S: You didn’t see me there … because I was here.

 

C:
E:
S: Oh, boy!

 

E:
S: You mean five with … 

 

E:
S: Uh. With my friend Bullwinke. He’s an old customer.

 

E:
S: Make? Who makes coffee when there’s Sidney’s Secret Blend all around the room? 

 

E:
S: Listen to her fancy-schmantzy with her "fresh" coffee.  

 

C:
S: Why are you waiting Corban? Tell her already.

 

C:
S: You’re lucky!  Your wife is a lady. This one with the "fresh coffee",

    I promise you–she’ll make trouble for you.

 

    Your wife isn’t such a snob–she’s friendly and polite.

 

     … and that Red Hair, that gorgeous Red Hair.

 

E:
S: Who’s who?

 

E:
S: Lady?–Uh–I–was describing my wife.

 

E:
S:  Like? Uh– she’s –uh–tall–and skinny–with Red Hair. A natural Red Head.

 

E:
S: Uh … I can’t. She’s away for the weekend … uh … she went to visit her sister … in Rockaway.

 

E:
C:
E:
C:
E:
C:
S: Who could we be expecting, Mis—uh …

 

E:
C:
E:
C:
S: Sure he told me.

 

E:
S: You thinks that’s a surprise? Wait’ll you hear what else he has to tell you.

 

E:
S: Well? Go ahead, Mr. Corban. Maybe you want I should leave? 

 

C:
S: I don’t understand …

 

E:
C:
S: Well … you did act funny when I came in.

 

He poured coffee into the plant … switched glasses… That’s too bad.

He seemed fine the first time I met him.

 

E:
S: Two weeks ago. When he came. He stopped by my store.

 

E:
S: I don’t recall the pleasure.

 

C:
E:
S: Lady, the women I saw that night was a pure blonde.

 

E:
S: You also heightened your height?

 

E:
F:
E:
F:
S: Me too.

 

C:
S: That’s life.

 

E:
F:
E:
C:
S: What’ll be all over?  What’s going on?

 

C:
E:
S: What is this — a love triangle?

 

F:
E:
S:  Levine!   Levine!  – they want to shoot Sidney !!!

 

     Hey — I’m not shot !

E:

L:

 

 

CURTAIN.    

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Midnight

Struggling for control of the pistol,,

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A Mother’s Love

Merry Christmas Mamma